Rights vs. Relationships

"No one is going to tell me what to do. I'll do as I please." Someone dear to me communicated this adamantly. The issue at stake was their rights. The particular right in question dealt with their freedom to dress as they choose. They were within their rights, but with our choices also comes consequences. Their choice in this case led to hurt, embarassment, and misconceptions among those they love and among other casual acquaintenances and general public.

Our behavior can be categorized as immoral, amoral, and moral. Some behavior is clearly wrong -- immoral -- and the Bible calls this sin. Other behavior is good -- moral -- and clearly encouraged throughout scripture. What about amoral behavior -- that which is neither good nor bad in itself? What about disputable matters?

In some cases, our behavior may be in an effort to spread the good news of Jesus Christ. Jesus hung out with the prostitutes, drunkards, and irreligious in an effort to reach them and restore them to a relationship with God. He faced ridicule because of this. We may behave in a way that is questionable to others, but if it is not a "sin" (i.e., disputable) and it is in an effort to reach others for Christ, then we should withstand the ridicule for the cause.

This was definitely not the case for my friend. There was no intent to spread the gospel.

In some cases, the impact of our behavior is dependent upon context or culture. Let's look at drinking as an example. Notwithstanding the dangers of alchohol, I do not think it is a sin to drink (in moderation). Nevertheless, the context should be taken into consideration. You shouldn't drink around underaged youth when it may result in them participating. Clearly it is against the law for people under the age of 21 to drink. You shouldn't drink around an alchoholic who's trying to stop. This behavior could push them over the edge. Paul gives us the guidelines for this in Romans 14. He closes this chapter with:

19 Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. 20 Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food.

Do not destroy God's work for the sake of ... you fill in the blank. Do not destroy the work of God for your rights.

A quick aside, there is certainly a debate regarding whether you should drink around a legalist who personally thinks it's a sin, and there's no real danger of you causing them to "stumble," but rather they're simply forcing you to embrace their rules.

In the case of my friend, I believe the behavior was having a negative impact on impressionable people. This was not simply a case of people trying to impose their morals upon my friend.

We've heard the phrase, "What would Jesus do?" Paul gives us a clear picture in Philippians 2:3-8:

3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. 4 Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. 5 Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: 6 Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, 7 but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. 8 And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death—even death on a cross!

Jesus humbled himself. One translation says that he "emptied" himself. He gave up his rights. He owed us nothing. He was the very Son of God and a King of Heaven and Earth. Yet, he gave up his rights for a relationship -- a relationship with you and me.

Jesus calls us to love one another. Doesn't our relationships with others matter more than our rights.